Woof! A Gay Man's Guide to Dogs

Canine Couture
Every gay dog at one time or another is asked, “What’s in your closet?” Light years past the doggy sweater, the world of canine fashion spans the imagination and is obviously fueled by many dog-wild gay men. In boutiques in small towns and big cities as well as on the Web, you can purchase anything from sensible trench coats and doggy boots to leather vests, harnesses, and camouflage outerwear for your dog. And you wonder why some Leathermen are attracted to small dogs! Doggy couture is not just for Pansies anymore! The Pansies and sister Powderpuffs, however, would be wise to hold on to their platinum cards before filling their closets with their dogs’ new clothes. The dog wardrobe extends from cashmere sweaters, Burberry dog coats, holiday dresses, and everyday hoodies to ponchos, suede coats, parkas, kimonos, rainproof jogging suits, overalls, and bejeweled running shoes. As long as there are gay men in the fashion world, there will be a never-ending flow of juicy doggy garments and fashion accessories.

Author Cathy Crimmins in her cautiously titled book How the Homosexuals Saved Civilization has this to share: “It could be argued that the essence of fashion is gay. Gay designers have influenced every straight woman’s fashion choices for the last hundred years.”

One such designer, Isaac Mizrahi of the West Village, has recently gone to the dogs, adding small-dog fashions to his line of exquisite women’s clothing. As Sandy Robbins reported for MSNBC about the first dog fashion show in New York’s Olympus Fashion Week, “All attention is now focused on the runway entrances, framed to look like doghouses, as a new breed of supermodel bounds onto the catwalk to début fashion designer Isaac Mizrahi’s newest line of canine haute couture for Target Corp. Amidst howls of delight and wagging tails, the audience is on its feet begging for more.” The designer’s comments reveals that canine models are no different from the luscious boys who sashay for Abercrombie & Fitch or Calvin Klein: “There were some temperamental bitches backstage!”

Mizrahi, whose hot pink and orange canine polos were all the rage in 2005, clarifies that human fashion and canine fashion are intrinsically linked, with the dogs always a season ahead.

Other big name fashion setters like Kenneth Cole, Michael Kors, Dolce & Gabbana, and Gucci lend their names and labels to the collars and shirts of dogs. Female designers are equally devoted to converting the catwalk to a dogwalk. Such inventive design divas as Nicole Miller, Jill Stuart, Joanna Mastroianni, Kara Kono, and Sherri Stankewitz have introduced collections for the Fido Fashionista. Gooby Pet Fashion even has a naval-officer coat that would be a real hit for boys cruising the Pier this spring for Fleet Week. Show a Navy boy how much you appreciate his dedication to homo and nation. Studs and stripes forever!

Speaking of decorating, don’t forget the bling! Your bitch might require jewelry to complement her stunning apparel. Visit the boutique to see which doggy jewels are available, and be certain you don’t confuse daytime jewelry with evening wear.

Visit www.pamperedpuppy.com, www.glamourdog.com, and www.hautedogboutique.com to glimpse just some of the wonderful world of doggy duds. Remember, clothes make the dog, and with the right ensemble you can transform your Powderpuff into a Powerpuff.

Since rainbow politics are all-inclusive, gay men will want to consider inviting the dogs to their gay wedding. The “I See Spot” label of Sandy Mahoney and Sharon Bolger of Miami Beach actually includes doggy bridesmaids’ outfits and velvet tuxedos for the ushers. Don’t forget the pillow for the canine ring bearer. Remember to take lots of photos at the wedding and send them to your governor and senator.